The History of Noobs and Noob Wars (from my Noob Killers blog)

Hey guys! Today is a very important story that ALL Kewl Kat needs to know. This is how Noob Researchers THINK noobs were created.

Once upon a time, when Handipoints was first discovered in 1787 by Lucifer Handipoint. Lucifer Handipoint thought since he was the first explorer and he would become famous because he was only 12, named it after him. Since his dad already owned a place called “Handipoint”, he said he would name the island “Handipoints”. Soon, he told everyone back in Kittypaws, NJ about this AMAZING discovery! Tons of cats took boats to the island. Lucifer Handipoint hired a guy named Paul Bunyan and his blue ox’s ghost to build the houses because cats wanted to live there. But, what Lucifer Handipoint DIDN’T realize was that he discovered the island called “Handipoints” on Friday the 13th. Before Freddy Krueger was born, and Nightmare on Elm Street was born, nobody THOUGHT Friday the 13th was a bad luck day. They thought it was just a normal day, like Saturday the 14th. Lucifer Handipoint’s island became sucessful. More and more cats were moving in. Lucifer’s father, Bob Handipoint, and Lucifer’s mother, Sarah Handipoint, noticed that their son, Lucifer Handipoint, wasn’t ANYWHERE in Kittypaws. Bob Handipoint picked up the Catnip News and was gonna read, but he read the title and hopped on the boat. The boat was called the Pietanic. The Pietanic was the biggest boat ever, made of pie. So he and Sarah sailed to the island. His parents were proud, but they were worried. Years after years after years, Handipoints improved. Lucifer Handipoint died at 100, 170 in cat years. He was the oldest Handicat ever. Then, a new owner was born in 1887, Tom Meower. Tom carried on Handipoints, but died at the age of 60.

Soon, it was 1984. Handipoints survived all those years. Then, the cats heard the news. Freddy Krueger was alive now. Handipoints was created on Friday the 13th. So, the Handicats screamed and said that he was coming to get them. He did actually. Freddy Krueger brang along Jason, Scream, The Exorcist, and finally the worst horror ever… NOOBS!!!!!

Noobs attacked. Freddy Krueger attacked. Jason attacked. Scream made 7 schoolgirls that were in the fourth grade chorus scream. The Exorcist turned people to stone with her ugly looks. (Kind of like Medusa).

Then, the Noobs started attacking, stalking and doing bad things. They finally left.  Years passed. It was 2005. It was Friday the 13th again. Then, SafeChat Noobs invaded Handipoints. They made everyone speak with only, SafeChat.

Years passed. It was 2007. Handipoints had a new owner. He was named after the website. Milo Handipoints was the new owner.

Petals was the mayor. Neither Milo OR Petals knew how to stop.

Then, 2008 came. A speechbar fell from the sky and sprayed Regular Chat Powder on everyone that was SafeChat. They were allowed to talk again!! They had happy years!

Soon, 2009 passed. Then came 2010. The Noob War date….

Out of NOWHERE, noobs came in and cloned themselves and lined up. More and MORE noobs came! Luckily, Kewl Kats won. More wars happened. A Kewl Kat named 10ashlee10 read in Lucifer Handipoint’s and Tom Meower’s diary. They said Noobs were created by a man named Noob Dood.

Noob Dood is still alive. Noob’s don’t die of old age because Noob Gas keeps them alive. Noob Dood is 100,000 years old! Noob Dood keeps bringing out noobs.

Then, in 2011, Cece and the Noobies came to Handipoints. They invaded. The Noob Bomb was helping them win. The Kewl Kats didn’t have enough cats to beat them. Cece and the Noobies keeps building noob bombs.

Good  luck, Kewl Kats!

-RJ

New Blog for the Kewl Kat Army and the Kewl Kat Warriors!

Hey!! Today, I have a new blog! Here is the link! No, I’m not quitting this blog. This blog will still be updated. The other blog is for the Handipoints Kewl Kat Army, The Kewl Kat Warriors, and the Noob Killers. Don’t worry, I’ll still be with this website. Here’s the link.

http://thehandipointsnoobkillers.wordpress.com/2011/05/09/handipoints-the-noob-news/

Bye guys!!

-RJ