Willy is BACK?!!!! :O Handipoints News

Hey guys, I’m Handipoints News Reporter Perry! This is the latest news! *Gets out paper*

Ahem…*clears throat*

It appears that the jurors seen Casey Anthony as innocent, when SHE KILLED CAYLEE. Don’t those jurors understand? Casey is lying! Casey is said to be going to Puerto Rico and changing her whole appearence. Somebody is suing Casey and his name i–oops wrong news, haha!

BOB GET ME A NEW PAPER, NOW!!!!!!!!! 😡

I swear I’m gonna fire Bob :l

*Gets new paper*

Ahem….*clears throat*

OH NOOOO! I have bad news for you all! The Willy WoNkA is back! You know what’s weird? Ok here’s the story! coolKiara,Ally xD, and I were talking about this wannabe noob and how stupid he is, and Kiara said “he might be watching us”. And Kiara was right! He was watching us! Ally then tested it out. Ally: “HEY WILLY COME AND INVADE THE HOOD!” or something like that. Anyways, like 5-10 minutes later, HE CAME!!!!!!!!!! It was very awkward for all of us. He was like this:

Willy: I’M WILLY WONKA WHO WANTS CANDY?!!

Hmmm….so that means he could be coming back with the Oppa Loppas? *Hears random girl scream*

HEY, BE QUIET, THIS ISN’T A HALLOWEEN SPECIAL, WE DON’T NEED SCREAMERS!!

Ok anywa—*hears scream again*

WILL YOU SHUT UP?!!! THIS ISN’T A HORROR MOVIE THAT PEOPLE ARE SCARED OF LIKE THE EXORCIST *WHICH SOUNDS NOT SCARY* OR JEEPERS CREEPERS *Which isn’t scary, but some people say it is -.-*

*Person screams again*

OK I SWEAR IF I HEAR A SCREAM ONE MORE TIME…I’LL GO CRAZY. No literally…my Handicat will dress in a crazy outfit. Anyways, bye!

-Perry

HandiLand Laws 2011 *Requested by holly_2011/glacey*

Hey guys! Perry here! Here are the HandiLaws! The laws post is requested by a Handicat named Glacey/Holly_2011.

LAWS:

•Noobs shouldn’t be allowed on Handi

No thinking you’re a Noob Buster when you’re NOT a Noob Buster.

No cussing at Kewl Kats is allowed

No fakes allowed!!!!!! (Niki,Ashes142,etc.)

No imposters allowed. This means no impersonating other Handicats (like me) and no impersonating real life celebs! (Katy Perry, Eninem, etc.)

No childish language allowed. This means that no Madi Language is allowed. Madi/Childish Language means no saying “buttcheeks jiggle”, no saying stupid stuff that 2 year olds say.

No stalkers allowed

No annoying in a bad way people allowed

No people that will start Noob Wars allowed

No noob cliques/posses/groups allowed

No Noobleaders!!! Noobleaders are sometimes noob cheerleaders. A noobleader cheers for the Noob Teams of Handipoints.

No people that do this: Hi Everyone! My Name Is Bob!

No virtual killing. Noob Busters aren’t supposed to virtually kill noobs. “Noob Killers/Busters” means that you get rid of noobs. To annoy noobs, do this: “SHOOTS LAZORS THROUGH HEAD” or something 😀

Well that’s about all the laws I can think of.

NOTE: HandiLand laws are meant to be followed on ANY blog by Perry Productions,Lightning Alpha Dogs Productions or Handipoints Tigers Productions.

-Perry

 

Wanted Handians:madi and mom

Hey guys! I got good/bad news. Um…NUETRAL news or however you spell it. There is a new noob that’s weird on Handipoints. Her name is madi and mom. She joined months ago. Anyways, she’s wanted because of her actions. I’m gonna put up a madi and mom page on this blog and the Noob Killers blog. No pics for this post, pics go directly to the page! I’ll put up pics that I took a while ago. Anyways, this is what she says,

“buttcheeks jiggle”

“buttcheeks grow”

“buttcheeks open”
“buttcheeks cover everyone”

And she says MUCH more stuff. It’s really annoying. Some of the stuff is funny. Some isn’t. It can get annoying if she’s actually doing it to you. I heard that she has a new thing called “Buttcheeks Rage”. It happened a few weeks ago.

NEW YORK TIME: 6:00 AM

VEGAS TIME: 3:00 AM

That’s when it happened. Here is what SOME Handicats catched her saying

Zach Wolf 1-3: “i once seen her say ‘buttcheeks listen to music’ ‘buttcheeks fart along to et by katy perry'”

Her buttcheeks stuff will eventually make Kewl Kats AND noobs quit. When noobs were online and so was she, the noobs were like “stoppppp” and “hushhhh”.

Here is what ONE noob said:

“im gonna have to get a sword to slice the buttcheeks”

Wow, it’s a game. Madi can’t actually do all that stuff with her butt, and nobody can hurt each other on a game, physchically. You have to hurt people emotianally.

All she talks about his her butt. Seriousley…. -.-

It’s a very babyish cycle. If this was on the news, it would be bigger than the Casey Anthony trial. That’s right I said BIGGER THAN THE CASEY ANTHONY TRIAL. And that’s viewed by millions everyday. People are also starting to believe that Madi and Mom is Tyler’s YouTube hacker AND Handipoints hacker.

A few weeks ago, Tyler’s YouTube account, HandipointsFart, has been hacked and the password has been changed. The Xtreme Spongebob Noobs hope that they don’t get hacked, too.

Well, bye guys!

See ya on Handipoints!

-RJ

RJ 222 is back!

Hey guys! RJ here! I have exciting news! Hey, RANDOM NOOB FROM ACROSS THE STREET, do the drumroll! 8D

*Random Noob from Across the Street (R.N.F.A.T.S.) does drumroll*

Ok, thanks!

Err…the drumroll was random since the title gives the “Guess what” away -_-

Ok anyways….I’m ungrounded! So now I can get things back to normal. I was ungrounded a few weeks ago, but I forgot to do the post. Er…well I didn’t forget…I didn’t feel like it because most of the people that read my blog are people from Handipoints.

Anyways…..

Noob TV is coming!! I already made Episode 1. It’s about a noob named Gosh I look good with my hair, when he’s bald 😀

I hope you guys enjoy! Also, check out my Noob Killers blog.

http://thehandipointsnoobkillers.wordpress.com/2011/05/09/handipoints-the-noob-news/

Well, here’s something that I should REALLY announce on this blog, since it has more views than my Noob Killers blog. THERE IS A NEW NOOB TEAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Audience: GASPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!

Please, save your “gasps” until the end of my story. Thankyou.

Ok here’s the story.

Once upon a time….in a little land called Handipoints or HandiLand….there was a bored kid named RJ / Perry. So, RJ wanted to create a Noob Weapon to annoy Noobs, and entertain himself and his Kewl Kat friends. So, RJ made a “Veruca Salt” account. Days later….

Kid: Can I use the bathroom?!!

UGHHHHHHH! Where was I? Oh yeah. DAYS LATER!!!!!!!!! There was a Noob online named The Willy WoNKA. And his minions are called “oppa loppas”. Hmm….does he know that it’s OOMPA LOOMPAS…or is he just too dumb and\or lazy to actually type Oompa Loompa?

So, they said they would be on every night, which makes NO sense to the poor kids that live in places like ummm errrr Italy or England or Las Vegas. Because they’re behind in hours so like yeah…..

Then, there’s about 3 Violets on Handipoints.

Violet #1: Nelly a.k.a KoolAid 44

Violet #2: juila200 (and yes that’s how she spells “Julia” -.-)

Violet #3: Err…a Random Noob from Across the Street named Vi0let.

First of all that, The Willy WoNKA kid, who thinks he’s 12+, is probably not a day above 9 or 8. SECOND OF ALL, he thinks he can actually change the name into Wonkapoints. No, he can’t do that. Unless somehow, he can hack the Handipoints.com website. Other than that, the Handipoints company  would have to legally change the website’s name to Wonkapoints. AND NEXT THING IS….you CAN’T change the website name once it’s already been created. Because then, people won’t know what it is, and you’ll lose all your business. So, that means he has to get the certain Flash player and create the website himself. Ok, then there’s these childish people copying me STILL. “Verucaa Saltt” is one of them….

Kid: I Think Nwoobs Are Big Fat Smelly Ugwy Meanie Poos With Nothing Bwetter To Do! -GIGGLES LIKE A MILLION BABY DEVILS- Oopsie, TEEHEE! I mean Baby Angels hehehehe…..

Uhh….that’s a….nice thought? And second of all, catty65 copied MY Handipoints Is Getting Destroyed AHHHH with some nonsense video named Destruct of Handipoints AHHHH. And he doesn’t even use Desktop Destroyer for it. He just uses Paint. There’s a TV going on in the background, you can hardly see what they’re saying, you can hardly hear him/her, he sounds like a GIRL. Wow, he really fails at copying me. Ok audience, you may now gasp!

Audience: GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG-

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-

SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS-

PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I’M DEAF NOW!! BYE, I NEED TO GO TO THE OLD MAN STORE FOR A HEARINAID! THE AUDIENCE MADE ME DEAF!

-RJ

Offline for a month…bye guys!

WAAAA!!!!! BOOHOO!!!! I got sad news for all you fans!!!! 😦

I have to take a break off Handi for a month and the computer. I’m just really busy…and I’m grounded lol. DON’T BLAME MEEE! I’M INNOCENT!!!!!  WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! ….Don’t be sad little ones…all you fans will make it through this TOGETHER 😥 Sniffle sniffle….can we please have a moment of awkward silence for the 1-month death of Perry Productions????? Thankyou!!

……………………………………………………………..HI EVERYONE MY NAME IS BOB!!!! SPONGEBOB!!!!!

HEY I SAID AWKWARD SILENCE! GET OUTTA HERE SPONGEBOB IF YOU’RE GONNA MAKE NOISE!!!!

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

Well, bye all you fans! Don’t be sad little ones…….I will return. With loads more pie :O

Goodbye.

R.I.P PERRY PRODUCTIONS

AUGUST 13TH, 2010-JUNE 12TH, 2011

CRAZED FAN STORIES:

Crazed Fan: *Runs home, crying to mommy!!!!!*

Crazed Fan trips over tombstone.

Crazed Fan: OWWWWW!! WHO PUT THAT THERE?!! THAT JUST MADE ME SADDER! THAT MOVIE WAS SOO SAD!! CAN YOU BELIEVE THE SPONGEBOB MOVIE IS A REALLY SAD MOVIE? IT MADE ME CRY SO MUCH BECAUSE SPONGEBOB DIDN’T GET TO BE THE MANAGER!!

Crazed Fan reads tombstone

Crazed Fan: OMG PERRY’S DEAD FOR A MONTH?!!! WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now I really mean…goodbye!

-Perry

Noob TV coming soon

Hey guys! RJ/Perry here! Guess what? I TOLD YOU TO GUESS!!!!!! Well, if you guessed Noob TV is coming, your right! If you guessed that your gonna get pie, YOUR WRONG!! I WILL NEVER SHARE MY PIE! xD

Anyways, enough with the randomness…Noob TV is coming soon! Yeah, that’s right! It’s coming this summer. There’s gonna be lots of seasons. And there will be specials! And on certain episodes, there will be Funny Noob Pics! And then there’s gonna be episodes that are only about a certain type of Noob (ex. Naked Noobie, Crybaby Noob, Snitch Noob)
I hope you guys enjoy Noob TV! You can also be in a Noob TV episode, too.

I hope you enjoy! Bye guys!!

-RJ

The History of Noobs and Noob Wars (from my Noob Killers blog)

Hey guys! Today is a very important story that ALL Kewl Kat needs to know. This is how Noob Researchers THINK noobs were created.

Once upon a time, when Handipoints was first discovered in 1787 by Lucifer Handipoint. Lucifer Handipoint thought since he was the first explorer and he would become famous because he was only 12, named it after him. Since his dad already owned a place called “Handipoint”, he said he would name the island “Handipoints”. Soon, he told everyone back in Kittypaws, NJ about this AMAZING discovery! Tons of cats took boats to the island. Lucifer Handipoint hired a guy named Paul Bunyan and his blue ox’s ghost to build the houses because cats wanted to live there. But, what Lucifer Handipoint DIDN’T realize was that he discovered the island called “Handipoints” on Friday the 13th. Before Freddy Krueger was born, and Nightmare on Elm Street was born, nobody THOUGHT Friday the 13th was a bad luck day. They thought it was just a normal day, like Saturday the 14th. Lucifer Handipoint’s island became sucessful. More and more cats were moving in. Lucifer’s father, Bob Handipoint, and Lucifer’s mother, Sarah Handipoint, noticed that their son, Lucifer Handipoint, wasn’t ANYWHERE in Kittypaws. Bob Handipoint picked up the Catnip News and was gonna read, but he read the title and hopped on the boat. The boat was called the Pietanic. The Pietanic was the biggest boat ever, made of pie. So he and Sarah sailed to the island. His parents were proud, but they were worried. Years after years after years, Handipoints improved. Lucifer Handipoint died at 100, 170 in cat years. He was the oldest Handicat ever. Then, a new owner was born in 1887, Tom Meower. Tom carried on Handipoints, but died at the age of 60.

Soon, it was 1984. Handipoints survived all those years. Then, the cats heard the news. Freddy Krueger was alive now. Handipoints was created on Friday the 13th. So, the Handicats screamed and said that he was coming to get them. He did actually. Freddy Krueger brang along Jason, Scream, The Exorcist, and finally the worst horror ever… NOOBS!!!!!

Noobs attacked. Freddy Krueger attacked. Jason attacked. Scream made 7 schoolgirls that were in the fourth grade chorus scream. The Exorcist turned people to stone with her ugly looks. (Kind of like Medusa).

Then, the Noobs started attacking, stalking and doing bad things. They finally left.  Years passed. It was 2005. It was Friday the 13th again. Then, SafeChat Noobs invaded Handipoints. They made everyone speak with only, SafeChat.

Years passed. It was 2007. Handipoints had a new owner. He was named after the website. Milo Handipoints was the new owner.

Petals was the mayor. Neither Milo OR Petals knew how to stop.

Then, 2008 came. A speechbar fell from the sky and sprayed Regular Chat Powder on everyone that was SafeChat. They were allowed to talk again!! They had happy years!

Soon, 2009 passed. Then came 2010. The Noob War date….

Out of NOWHERE, noobs came in and cloned themselves and lined up. More and MORE noobs came! Luckily, Kewl Kats won. More wars happened. A Kewl Kat named 10ashlee10 read in Lucifer Handipoint’s and Tom Meower’s diary. They said Noobs were created by a man named Noob Dood.

Noob Dood is still alive. Noob’s don’t die of old age because Noob Gas keeps them alive. Noob Dood is 100,000 years old! Noob Dood keeps bringing out noobs.

Then, in 2011, Cece and the Noobies came to Handipoints. They invaded. The Noob Bomb was helping them win. The Kewl Kats didn’t have enough cats to beat them. Cece and the Noobies keeps building noob bombs.

Good  luck, Kewl Kats!

-RJ

New Blog for the Kewl Kat Army and the Kewl Kat Warriors!

Hey!! Today, I have a new blog! Here is the link! No, I’m not quitting this blog. This blog will still be updated. The other blog is for the Handipoints Kewl Kat Army, The Kewl Kat Warriors, and the Noob Killers. Don’t worry, I’ll still be with this website. Here’s the link.

http://thehandipointsnoobkillers.wordpress.com/2011/05/09/handipoints-the-noob-news/

Bye guys!!

-RJ

Handian Ilovegod12 saying Random Stuff

Hey guys, Sc00by here! Sorry that I couldn’t add any pictures because I’m on a different computer. Anyways, on Handipoints, ilovegod12 keeps saying random stuff like “PLEASE KILL ME” and that stupid stuff. Nobody knows why she’s saying that stuff. And here’s some info for her, it’s a GAME, you can’t die! She must think there’s a weapons catalog in Handipoints to kill people with. But, sadly for her, there’s not.

Well, bye fans!

-Handipoints Tigers Productions

Is this the end of Kewl Kats?

Hey guys! Sc00by here with some sad news…(tells sad music guy to start playing sad music). Noobs might be taking over HandiLand…for a while now, there has been incresions of the Noob species. It seems that the Noob Bombs are working. My spy, nick76griffin, on his noob account, is spying on the Noobs to see if they attack. When Cece and the Noobies are online, he will spy on them to see their plans and stuff. It seems whenever Noobs are offline, the Neighborhood is partly empty. It only has like 4 or 5 or 6 people in the Neighborhood that are Kewl Kats, counting yourself. Wanna become a Noob Spy for the Kewl Kat teams of Handipoints? Well it’s easy! Tell me your Handipoints account in the comments and say that you wanna be a spy. Then, we go to a private noob-free room in Handipoints, like a house. But you NEED to have a Noob account. All Noobs know what Kewl Kats are. Cece and the Noobies said that there are gonna be Noob Spies. Cece clearly said that Noob Spies are Noobs that go around talking to Kewl Kats and spying on them, and if a Kewl Kat is rude to Noobs, they call in a Kewl Kat Annoyer. They call the Kewl Kat Annoyers, Kewl Kat Killers, but really, it doesn’t hurt us, it just annoys us. Then, if Kewl Kats keep being mean to the Noobs, the Noob Spies then call in Cece and the Noobies to start a Noob War. Well, that’s what she said. That seems like a REALLY annoying cycle, but oh well, poor us D:

Well, bye guys!!

©Handipoints  Tigers Productions